The "Fruitbat" Collection of Recipes

Recipes:



        Fusilli Verde with Mushrooms and Cream

        Carrot and Potato Souffle

        Vegetable Medley

        Tangy Potatoes with Peas

        Apple and Banana Fritters

        Tofu in Savoury Sauce

        Sweet and Sour Leeks

        Tofu Stroganoff

        Lettuce in Cheese Sauce

        Mushroom Pate en Croute

        Rice Stuffed Peppers

        Stuffed Aubergines a la Provencale

        Vegetable Moussaka

        Nutty Courgettes

        Sunflower Seed Peppers



________________________________________________________________

From: fruitbat@tardis.computer-science.edinburgh.ac.uk

Date: 5 Dec 90 07:42:10 GMT



Made by my boyfriend duncan to prove that there is more to being a

carnivore than bacon sandwiches... I bet I could have done it better

though . Fruitbat stuffed afterwards.

The perils of cookery :^>





                 Fusilli Verde with Mushrooms and Cream



-Ingredients-



1 lb (450g) fusilli verde (pasta spirals)

1 onion

1 1/2 oz (40g) butter or vegan margarine

1 garlic clove

1 lb (450g) button mushrooms

5 fl oz (150ml) cream (non-dairy for vegans)

Grated nutmeg

Salt and black pepper



-Method-



Chop the onion finely. Fry gently in 1 oz (25g) of the butter for 10 minutes

until softened. Crush the garlic and slice the mushrooms.



Add the garlic and mushrooms and cook for 15-20 minutes, until all the

liquid has evaporated. Add the cream, salt, pepper and nutmeg. Remove

from the heat.



Cook the fusilli in a large saucepan full of salted water until al dente.

Drain the pasta immediately, then return to the pan with the remaining

butter and salt and pepper to taste.



Reheat the sauce. Tip the fusilli into a warmed serving dish, pour the

sauce over the top and serve immediately. Serves 4.



-Note-



Measurements in brackets are american/metric. Serve with green salad

and garlic bread.



________________________________________________________________

From: fruitbat@tardis.computer-science.edinburgh.ac.uk

Date: 5 Dec 90 07:33:07 GMT





I told my pet straight, Graham, that I was just going to rustle

something up, cos I didn't feel like cooking. One souffle, a vegetable

medley (q.v) and parsnip chips (q.v) later, he asked what would happen

if I felt like it. Hmm, Fruitbat make two souffle, and call "souffle

in a bucket". Fruitpig.





                    - Carrot and Potato Souffle -



-Ingredients-



1 lb (500g) carrots

12 oz (350g) potatoes

1 oz (25g) butter

2 (3) tbsp milk

4-5 tsp french mustard

4 oz (100g) mature cheddar cheese

5 eggs

Salt and black pepper

Butter for greasing



-Method-



Cut the carrots and potatoes into 1 inch(2.5cm) pieces. Bring the

carrots to the boil in a large saucepan of salted water, lower the

heat and cook for about 15 minutes, until tender.



Meanwhile, in a seperate saucepan, cook the potatoes in the same way

for about 10 minutes, until tender.



Grease a 2 1/2 pint (1.5 L) souffle dish, heat the oven to gas mark 6

(200C,400F) and seperate the eggs.



Drain the cooked vegetables and transfer to a clean saucepan. Mash

with the butter and milk until smooth. Transfer into a large bowl (to

cool the mixture) and mix in the mustard, cheese, egg yolks, salt and

pepper to taste. Beat with a wooden spoon until smooth.



In a clean dry bowl, whisk the egg whites until stiff but not dry.

Using a large metal spoon, fold them lightly into the carrot and

potato mixture. Pour into the prepared dish and bake in the oven for

35 minutes, until well-risen and golden.



When lightly shaken it should only wobble very slightly. Serve at once

from the dish. Serves 4.



________________________________________________________________

From: fruitbat@tardis.computer-science.edinburgh.ac.uk

Date: 5 Dec 90 07:33:40 GMT





I can never cope with spring greens. You spend all day chopping bits

off three tons of the stuff, wander around the kitchen carrying

armfuls of it (tripping over a terrified cat who thinks you're a

triffid), then cram it into that eighteen-pint-curry-for-rugby-teams

pan, switch on the heat and then Splut! It turns into a large

pulsating brussel sprout at the bottom. . Pass the steamer.





                         - Vegetable Medley -



-Ingredients-



1 lb (500g) spring greens

1 oz (25g) butter or vegan margarine

9 oz (250g) mushrooms

1 tbsp lemon juice

6 (7) tbsp double cream (see note)

12 oz (350g) tomatoes

1 tsp dried basil

Salt and black pepper

Butter/ vegan margarine for greasing



-Method-



Heat the oven to gas mark 4 (180C,350F) and grease an ovenproof dish

with butter.



Cut out the stalks of the spring greens, shred the leaves finely and

wash in cold water. Transfer to a large pan and cook for 5 minutes in

the water clinging to the leaves.



Meanwhile, melt the butter in a saucepan, add the mushrooms and cook

over gentle heat until beginning to soften. Add the lemon juice and

cook for a further 1-2 minutes. Remove with a slotted spoon.



Drain the greens thoroughly in a colander, squeezing out all the

excess moisture by pressing down with a plate. Transfer to a bowl,

stir in the mushrooms and double cream and season to taste with salt

and pepper.



Put half the greens and mushrooms into the greased dish. Cover with

half the tomato slices and season with salt and pepper. Sprinkle over

half the basil. Turn the remainder of the greens and mushroom mixture

into the dish, smooth the surface and top with the remaining tomato

slices. Season again with salt and pepper and sprinkle with the

remaining dried basil.



Cover the dish with a lid or foil and bake in the oven for 15-20

minutes. Serve at once, straight from the dish. Serves 4.



-Note-



For a variation, add a layer of lightly cooked courgettes after the

first layer of tomatoes. Use vegetable stock instead of cream for a

vegan version.





________________________________________________________________

From: fruitbat@tardis.computer-science.edinburgh.ac.uk

Date: 3 Dec 90 21:51:40 GMT



The preparation of this dish is much enhanced by setting fire to it.

After adding the mustard seeds, leave the frying pan on the heat while

you interrogate the cat for stealing potato slices. Whumph. Flames.

Screech. Exit cat.





                     - Tangy Potatoes with Peas -



-Ingredients-



2 fl oz (50 ml) oil

1/2 tsp fenugreek seeds

1 tsp black mustard seeds

4 medium potatoes

8 oz (225g) fresh or frozen peas

1 tbsp ground coriander

1 tsp turmeric

1 tsp chilli powder

8 oz (225g) can tomatoes

1 tsp sugar

Salt



-Method-



Cut the potatoes into 1 inch (2.5cm) cubes.



Heat the oil in a wok or frying pan and fry the fenugreek seeds until

browned. Add the mustard seeds and fry until they pop.



Reduce the heat, add the potatoes and peas and cover to preserve the

flavour. Cook for 5 minutes.



Uncover, add the coriander, turmeric, chilli powder, tomatoes, salt

and sugar. Cover and cook for about 30 minutes, stirring occasionally,

until the vegetables are tender and most of the liquid has reduced to

a thick sauce.



-Note-



Measurements in brackets are Metric/American.



________________________________________________________________

From: fruitbat@tardis.computer-science.edinburgh.ac.uk

Date: 2 Dec 90 23:56:04 GMT



Not my recipe - I recommend 4 bananas, 2 apples, lock the door and eat

these yourself before anybody else can get near them... Hmm. Round

fruitbat. . Pass the indigestion tablets.





                    - Apple and Banana Fritters -



-Ingredients-



4 oz (100g) plain flour

6 (8-9) tbsp lukewarm water

4 tsp vegetable oil

2 egg whites

1 large cooking apple

2 bananas

Salt

Juice of 1/2 lemon

Vegetable oil for deep frying

Caster sugar to serve



-Method-



Put the flour and salt into a bowl. Make a well in the centre and add

the water and oil. Beat to form a smooth batter, adding more water as

necessary.



Beat the egg whites in a clean dry bowl until they are stiff, then set

aside.



Peel, quarter and core the apple. Peel the bananas. Slice the fruit

thickly and sprinkle with lemon juice to prevent discoloration.



Fold the beaten egg whites into the batter, then immediately dip in

the slices of fruit.



Deep-fry the fritters a few at a time in hot oil until puffed and

light golden. Remove with a slotted spoon and dry with absorbent

kitchen paper. Serve immediately, sprinkled with caster sugar.





________________________________________________________________

From: fruitbat@tardis.computer-science.edinburgh.ac.uk

Date: 2 Dec 90 23:50:27 GMT



Authentic and just like what the Wong Kei restaurant in London does.

Should be served rudely half an hour late with waiters throwing chop

sticks at you and shouting "hurry, hurry".





                       - Tofu in Savoury Sauce -



-Ingredients-



1 block tofu (10 oz/ 275g)

2 (3) tbsp vegetable oil

1 tbsp light soy sauce

1 tbsp tomato puree

7 fl oz (3/4 cup, 200ml) vegetable stock

4 oz (3/4 cup, 125g) peas

4 spring onions (scallions)



-Method-



Cut the tofu into 1/2 inch (1.25 cm) cubes, and coarsely chop the

spring onions.



Heat the oil in a wok and stir fry the tofu cubes lightly on all

sides.



Mix together the soy sauce, tomato puree and stock and pour the

mixture into the wok. Boil very gently for 3 minutes.



Stir in the peas and half the chopped spring onions. Bring back to the

boil, then serve, sprinkled with the remaining spring onions.



-Note-



Frozen tofu is best for this dish. Defrost by putting the packet into

a pan of cold water, bring to the boil then stand until thawed.



________________________________________________________________

From: fruitbat@tardis.computer-science.edinburgh.ac.uk

Date: 1 Dec 90 23:37:16 GMT





"I think I'll cook chinese tonight". "Oh, have you got some leeks,

then?". . OK, OK, so I always do this one when I cook chinese.

I'm staid, predictable and I like leeks. So sue me :^P





                       - Sweet and Sour Leeks -



-Ingredients-



12 oz (350g) medium sized leeks

4 (5) tbsp vegetable oil

1 skinned garlic clove

1 green chilli, deseeded and chopped

2 (3) tbsp white wine vinegar

1 tbsp dark soy sauce

1 tbsp icing sugar

1 tbsp grated root ginger

6 (8) tbsp vegetable stock

Salt



-Method-



Clean the leeks and chop into finger width rings.



Heat the oil in a wok and stir fry the skinned garlic clove until

golden brown. Remove from the oil.



Add the chilli and ginger, stir well and add the leek. Stir fry for

2-3 minutes



Add the salt, vinegar, soy sauce, icing sugar and stock. Boil steadily

for 1 minute. Transfer to a warmed serving dish and serve.



________________________________________________________________

From: fruitbat@tardis.computer-science.edinburgh.ac.uk

Date: 1 Dec 90 23:36:50 GMT



It is always nice to make use of this versatile and wholesome food

ingredient. Of course, if you do not have freshly made tofu being

pressed by your chinese houseboy, then supermarket tofu *will* do at a

pinch. But even the common working class cook should make it a

priority to hire a kitchen staff of around twenty.



I can be a patronising vegetarian cookery writer! I can! I can! :^>





                          - Tofu Stroganoff -



-Ingredients-



For the sauce:



1/2 lb (225g) tofu

3 fl oz (1/3 cup) water

2 (3) tbsp soy sauce

1 (2) tbsp lemon juice

1 (2) tbsp white wine vinegar

1 clove garlic

1 teaspoon chopped root ginger



For the stroganoff:



1/2 onion, finely chopped

1 clove garlic, crushed

1 tsp oil

3/4 lb (350g) mushrooms, sliced

4 oz (100g) tofu

2 (3) tbsp soured cream or non-dairy cream

1/2 tsp oregano

1 tbsp crushed cashew nuts

1 tbsp chopped parsley



-Method-



Make the sauce first. Combine all the ingredients in a blender

container and blend until smooth. Be sure that the garlic, lemon rind

and ginger root are finely chopped and not left in big chunks. Set

aside or refrigerate to use later.



Saute the onion and garlic in oil until transparent. Add mushrooms and

saute until tender and the moisture has evaporated. Set aside.



Cut the tofu into 1 cm cubes and brown slightly. Mix the tofu with the

mushrooms, pour the sauce over it, and mix well. Heat through,

stirring.



Blend in the soured cream and oregano, and serve over cooked brown

rice, sprinkled with the cashews and parsley.



-Note-



Refrigerating improves the flavour of the sauce and it can be kept for

up to a week. Measurements in brackets are American/metric.



________________________________________________________________

From: fruitbat@tardis.computer-science.edinburgh.ac.uk

Date: 1 Dec 90 23:36:18 GMT





Hmm, this one sounded odd, but is dead yummy.  A note to young

fruitbats at home. Get an adult to drain the lettuce for you.

Personally I think it improves the texture when it's dropped on the

floor and trampled on whilst you hop up and down making anguished

meeping noises. . Hate cooking. 



                      - Lettuce in Cheese Sauce -



-Ingredients-



1 large crisp-hearted lettuce

2 oz (50g) butter

4 (5) tbsp vegetable stock

1 oz (25g) plain flour

1/2 pint (1 1/4 cups) milk

2 oz (50g) cheddar cheese, grated

1/4 tsp made English mustard

1 tbsp grated parmesan

Salt and black pepper



-Method-



Heat the oven to gas mark 4 (180C,350F). Discard the outer lettuce

leaves if coarse or damaged, but leave the lettuce whole. Bring a

saucepan of salted water to the boil and put the lettuce in it to

blanch for 5 minutes. Drain well.



Cut the blanched lettuce into quarters and place in a shallow

flameproof dish. Dot with half the butter and pour the stock into the

dish around the lettuce. Cook in the oven for 30 minutes, or until the

lettuce is tender.



Meanwhile, make a cheese sauce. Melt the remaining butter in a small

saucepan, sprinkle in the flour and stir over a low heat for 1-2

minutes until straw-coloured. Remove from the heat and gradually stir

in the milk. Return to the heat and simmer until the sauce is thick

and smooth.



Remove from the heat and stir in the cheddar cheese until melted. Stir

in the mustard and season to taste with salt and pepper. Heat the

grill to high.



When the lettuce is cooked, drain well, reserving 2 (3) tbsp of the

cooking liquid. Return the lettuce to the dish.



Stir the reserved liquid into the cheese sauce. Pour the cheese sauce

evenly over the lettuce in the dish. Sprinkle the parmesan cheese over

the top and set under the grill for a few minutes until the cheese has

melted and the top is lightly browned. Serve hot.



-Note-



Use a really crisp, firm lettuce for this. Iceberg is best.





________________________________________________________________

From: fruitbat@tardis.computer-science.edinburgh.ac.uk

Date: 10 Dec 90 16:28:53 GMT





Fruitbat nonchalently removes impressive looking mushroom pate en croute

(mushroom pie for the americans :^>) out of the oven, brandishes a knife

and totally fails to manage to cut the pastry without endangering the

Superior LifeTime Guaranteed MegaWonderful Tefcrap Non-Stick surface (tm)

below. Put down on present list for christmas: industrial band-saw.





                         - Mushroom Pate en Croute -



-Ingredients-



1 lb (450g) frozen puff pastry, thawed (or 8 oz fresh flaky pastry)

A little raw egg yolk or softened vegan margarine

1 onion

1 oz (25g) butter or vegan margarine

2 lb (900g) mushrooms

2 garlic cloves

2 (3) tbsp chopped parsley

4 oz (100g) dried wholewheat breadcrumbs (or 2 oz fresh)

2 (3) tbsp lemon juice

Salt and Black pepper



-Method-



Preheat the oven to gas mark 7 (220C,425F). Finely chop the onion and

mushrooms and crush the garlic.



Fry the onion in the butter in a large saucepan for 10 minutes. Add the

mushrooms and fry for 20-30 minutes, until all the liquid has evaporated.



Remove from the heat and add the garlic, parsley, breadcrumbs, lemon juice,

salt and pepper to taste. Allow the mixture to cool.



Roll 1/3 of the pastry into a 6 x 12 inch (15 x 30 cm) rectangle. Place on

a baking sheet, spoon the mushroom mixture on top (heaping it up in the centre)

and brush the edges with water.



Roll the remaining pastry into a 9 x 12 inch (23 x 30 cm) rectangle. Fold

the pastry in half lengthways and make diagonal cuts to within an inch or

so of the edges for a decorative finish. Ease the pastry on top of the mushroom

mixture and open out to cover.



Press the edges together and trim away any excess pastry. Brush with the

egg yolk or margarine, and bake for 30 minutes until golden-brown.

Serve hot or warm.



________________________________________________________________

From: fruitbat@tardis.computer-science.edinburgh.ac.uk

Date: 10 Dec 90 16:29:47 GMT





All right, I admit I made a mistake cooking this as well as all the other

The maxim that 'serves 4'

is in fact referring to a bunch of anorexic sparrows and most humans prefer

to eat more than a tablespoon of something, doesn't always work. Can I

interest anybody in a kilo of nutty potatoes and a large bowl of Mahal

Kidney Beans that even I am too stuffed to eat? 





                         - Mahal Kidney Beans -



-Ingredients-



15 oz (450g) tin kidney beans (or 6 oz dried beans, cooked)

1 oz (25g) butter

1 onion

1 clove garlic, crushed

1 tsp ground cumin

15 oz (450g) tin chopped tomatoes

3 (4) tbsp natural yoghurt (optional)

2 (3) tbsp chopped parsley

Salt and freshly ground pepper



-Method-



Melt the butter in a large, wide pan, add the onion and garlic and fry gently

for 5 minutes until the onion is soft and lightly coloured. Add the ground

cumin to the pan and stir over low heat for a further 2 minutes.



Stir the tomatoes, beans, salt and pepper to taste into the pan. Continue

to cook the mixture over moderate heat for 5 minutes, stirring occasionally,

until the beans are heated through.



Remove the pan from the heat and add the yoghurt one tablespoon at a time,

mixing thoroughly after each addr 2 minutes.



Stir the tomatoes, beans, salt and pepper to taste into the pan. Continue

to cook the mixture over moderate heat for 5 minutes, stirring occasionally,

until the beans are heated through.



Remove the pan from the heat and add the yoghurt one tablespoon at a time,

mixing thoroughly after each addition. Heat through gently without allowing

the mixture to come to the boil.



Transfer the beans to a warmed serving dish and sprinkle with chopped parsley.

Serve at once.



________________________________________________________________

From: fruitbat@tardis.computer-science.edinburgh.ac.uk

Date: 10 Dec 90 16:29:28 GMT



I'm sorry, but I find this recipe absolutely boring as it stands. There's

no joie de vie, no panache, no french (pepper de la stuffe rice?). I shall

outline a few essential variations. Firstly, get out your box of spices

from the Dark Place where you have been judiciously storing them. Sprinkle

in some parsley, mint, thyme, marjoram. Grate a clove or two and some pink

peppercorns. Add those. Cinnamon, paprika, chilli powder. Green pepper,

black pepper, cayenne pepper. Five spice powder. Now look at the devestation

in your kitchen. Bottle tops everywhere, every pan used. Turmeric indelibly

stained on your best worktops. Say "coo, messy". Look in vain for someone

to help wash up. Repeat 100 times (whilst doing dishes): "I like bland

food, I like bland food".  Enjoy, and pass the soapy suds.





                         - Rice Stuffed Peppers -



-Ingredients-



2 large peppers (capsicums)

15 oz (400g) tin chopped tomatoes

4 oz (100g) mushrooms

1 onion

1 tbsp tomato puree

1/2 lb (225g) brown rice

4 oz (100g) grated cheese (optional for vegan version)

2 (3) tbsp chopped parsley

1/2 tsp sea salt

1 tsp mixed herbs

3 (4) tbsp vegetable oil



-Method-



Bring the rice to the boil with 2 1/2 times water. Cover, and simmer for 25

minutes, or until water has been absorbed. Cut the peppers in half lengthways,

remove seeds and membranes, and steam until just tender. Preheat oven

to gas mark 4 (350F,180C).



Make a tomato sauce by mixing the tomatoes, tomato puree and mixed herbs.

Saute the onions and mushrooms in oil until soft. Combine 1/3 of the

tomato sauce with the rice, half the grated cheese, mushroom and onion mix,

1 tbsp chopped parsley and 1/2 tsp salt. Cook over moderate heat, stirring

gently until well blended and the cheese has melted. Add water as necessary

to prevent sticking.



Spoon the remaining tomato sauce into an oven-proof dish. Place the pepper

halves on top of the sauce, then fill with the rice mixture. Top with the

remaining grated cheese.



Bake until hot and the cheese has melted. Sprinkle with chopped parsley

and serve immediately.



________________________________________________________________

From: fruitbat@tardis.computer-science.edinburgh.ac.uk

Date: 10 Jan 91 18:33:48 GMT





Violently ill, sufferring from christmas excess poisoning, I slaved

over a hot stove to make this, then collapsed wearily in a chair to

eat it. It was worth it to see Duncan nervously prodding the aubergine

skin to see if I'd killed it properly. Don't serve this on a bed of

rice and chilli sauce that you cooked and left in a warm kitchen for

three days. It doesn't do your digestive system much good. Try fresh

rice and braised broccoli instead.





                - Stuffed Aubergines a la Provencale -



-Ingredients-



2 aubergines (eggplant) (1 lb, 450g)

1 large onion

1 tin tomatoes

2 garlic cloves

2 (3) tbsp fresh parsley (or 1 (2) tbsp dried)

4 (5) tbsp fresh breadcrumbs

1 tbsp olive oil

Salt & pepper



-Method-



Cut the aubergines lengthways. Make deep cuts criss-crossing the

flesh, being careful not to pierce the skin.



Sprinkle with salt and leave for 30 minutes. Wash under cold water,

then scoop the flesh out of the skins.



Preheat the oven to gas mark 6 (200C,400F), chop the flesh and crush

the garlic cloves.



Heat 2 (3) tbsp vegetable oil in a large saucepan and fry the skins on

both sides for about 3 minutes. Remove from the pan, place in a

shallow ovenproof dish and set aside.



Fry the onion and aubergine flesh for 7-8 minutes, adding some more

oil if necessary. Add the tomatoes and garlic, and fry for a further 4

minutes. Mix in the parsley, and season to taste with salt and pepper.



Spoon the mixture into the aubergine skins, top with the breadcrumbs

and dot a little olive oil over them. Bake uncovered for 20-30

minutes, until the skins are tender and the breadcrumbs are browned.



Serves 4.



________________________________________________________________

From: fruitbat@tardis.computer-science.edinburgh.ac.uk

Subject: Fruitbat cooks, and how to survive them (long)

Date: 10 Jan 91 18:34:47 GMT



A tale of much hardship, sacrifice, and small jars of panch phoron

spice blend. Apologies to any mothers who have to put up with sons

like me ;^>





                      A Cookery Queen in Chester

                                 -or-

                How to have your Nut Roast and Eat It



This Christmas, I decided to spend with my parents. Mostly for two

reasons: they sulked for months after I didn't go back last year, and

I wanted my Christmas present.



I find my parents incredibly wearing. This is mostly due to my

lifestyle. Part time flouncing queen, mostly fairly ordinary poofy

fruitbat, full time vegetarian gourmet chef.



My parents quite happily ignore my sexuality and the various soc.motss

men I drag back with me occasionally. They have much more trouble

ignoring my cooking.



I went to their house on the condition that they didn't fill the

freezer with vegeburgers and Marks and Spencer frozen microwave

dinners. Also on the understanding that I could cook my own christmas

dinner and not be inflicted with their brussel sprouts, boiled to

death over a period of several hours.



I walked in. "There's no food in the house for you. We're having

fillet steak, do you want a cheese sandwich?". I looked around the

kitchen. Lentils, onion and a tin of tomatoes. Half an hour later,

there was my favourite Lentil Dhal in the pan. Quite a lot of my

lentil dhal was all over the kitchen. Thou art a messy cook, fruitbat.



I ate, my mother squeaked and wandered round the kitchen with a

dishcloth, scraping lentils off the tiles on the wall. Ho hum. I

offered some to them. They sniffed it doubtfully and tried it. Once

they'd stirred 50g of salt into it, they decided they liked it.

Fruitbat 1, parents 0.



I looked at my Mothers spice rack, which was just how I remembered it.

Fifteen year old jars of Meat Tenderiser and Garlic Salt. Boxes of

herbs that were ten years old and looked (and tasted) like grass

cuttings. I threw them away and refilled them from my trusty box of

spices (30 spices you can't leave behind when you go on holiday). Much

better, although mother squeaked a bit when I emptied all her jars...



The next night I cooked Chinese. There is never any particular

structure behind this, I just chop up vegetables and throw them in a

wok with various combinations of sauces until I have made something

that looks edible. They seemed impressed by stir fried fennel and

courgettes in yellow bean sauce, anyhows (it was nothing, he protested

modestly). "You're not catching me eating with those stick things"

declared Mother. I cooked enough for six (as usual) for four people,

but they still had to cook steak too. Poor misguided fools, I thought.



Then, a nasty realisation hit me, in very much the same way Le Creuset

does if you drop it on your foot. I'd left all my recipe books at

home, and I didn't have a modem with me to download anything.

Christmas was ruined, I'd have to cook Mushroom Pate En Croute from

memory, and I couldn't remember what sort of pepper to put in it.



I pouted for a bit, but decided that I was bat enough to cook

anything. I squared my shoulders, brandished my spatula, wrote a

shopping list, and brandished it at Mother. Two sides of paper. She

squeaked again. "I've already done my Christmas shopping".



We went into town, which is currently a building site. "I don't want

button mushrooms, I want open cup ones. And I'm going home if you

can't find fresh parsley". We found them after several hours trudging

around the mud of "The Ellesmere Port Shopping Experience". It

certainly was that. Not one I wish to repeat, either.



I made a cake. "Can you grease a cake tin for me, Mother?". "A what?".

"An eight inch cake tin, the mixtures ready". "But, I don't have a

cake tin". I wailed. She phoned the neighbours and found somebody with

a six inch one. (Cake tin, not neighbour unfortunately, but I have my

hopes about the cute army son of number 25).



Christmas day arrived, and I opened my presents happily. Electric

kitchen scales, a hand blender and a black octagonal dinner service.

Happy fruitbat. I went and spent several hours creating in the

kitchen.



The argument starts. "Where did I put that wooden spoon, Mother?".

"Oh, I washed it up". "Where are those vegetable ends I was making

stock with?". "Oh, I threw them away". I drummed my fingers and

brandished the sabatier. "OUT!". This had some effect. Mother sulked,

which gave me time to finish cooking.



The rest of the family arrived, and Mother put various dead vegetables

and semi-live animal on plates. I found it difficult to believe that

five animals were killed for my mother's christmas dinner. I ate my

humanely slaughtered courgettes and described how they killed turkeys.

Well, I'm only a militant vegetarian sometimes, I like to make the

most of it.



After that, Christmas went quietly. My mother conceded that I could

cook, and indeed, could cook better than she can, so she stopped

moaning about food. My father insisted on videotaping me cooking, so I

did stir fry in my best camp. "Ooh, but I was telling her just the

other day, a good stock is the secret". That's the only mince that

get's near *my* wok. .



With a sigh of relief from both parties, my parents deposited me and

my boyfriend back to the sunny south of England. I finally had my own

kitchen back, I can have sex in it whenever I want, it seems heavenly.



Fruitbat.



fruitbat@uk.ac.ed.cs.tardis,

  92 Blenheim Road, Newtown, Reading, RG1 5NQ.

     Telephone-meep at +44 734 666738



_____________________________________________________________________

From: fruitbat@tardis.computer-science.edinburgh.ac.uk

Date: 14 Jan 91 09:16:16 GMT



Gosh, what a pure and worthy fruitbat I am. Knowing that my boyfriend

would be coming home from a gruelling day sitting in the office

drinking coffee, I journeyed long to Sainsburys to find the best

aubergines. Verily I scoured the delicatessan for Juniper Berries for

the savoury pear mousse. Forsooth I carried my industrial size

rucksack of shopping onto the satanic carriage of Reading Transport.



Hmm. Maybe I've been reading too many romantic novels. Humph. In the

novels they don't eat dinner, have sex and then fall asleep snoring

while you do the washing up. Bless his little polycotton shirt.



                        - Vegetable Moussaka -



-Ingredients-



2 aubergines (eggplants) (1 lb, 450g)

2 large onions

4 (5) tbsp olive oil

1 garlic clove

2 15 oz (425g) cans red kidney beans

1 tin tomatoes (400g)

1/4 tsp ground allspice (or cinnamon)

5 fl oz (150ml) plain yoghurt

2 (3) tsp lemon juice

4 (5) tbsp grated parmesan cheese

1 egg

Freshly grated nutmeg

Salt & Black Pepper



-Method-



Cut the aubergines into thin slices. If the aubergines are large, then

quarter each slice. Put the slices in a colandar, sprinkle with salt

and leave for 30 minutes.



Meanwhile, fry the onion in a large covered saucepan in 2 (3) tbsp

olive oil for 10 minutes.



Drain and rinse the kidney beans. Add these to the onions with the

tomatoes, crushed garlic and allspice. Mix all these together, mashing

to roughly puree the kidney beans. Season well with salt and pepper.



Grease a large, shallow, ovenproof dish, preheat the oven to gas mark

4 (180C,350F) and rinse the aubergines. Pat dry with kitchen paper.



Fry the aubergine slices in the remaining oil for 3 minutes on each

side until they are tender. Pat dry again with kitchen paper.



Layer the aubergine slices and pureed bean mix alternately in the

dish. Start and finish with a layer of aubergine slices.



Whisk together the egg, yoghurt and lemon juice. Season to taste with

salt, pepper and nutmeg, then pour evenly over the moussaka.



Sprinkle the parmesan on top, then bake for 40-45 minutes, or until

the top is golden.



Serves 6.



_____________________________________________________________________

From: fruitbat@tardis.computer-science.edinburgh.ac.uk



                            -Nutty Courgettes-



-Ingredients-



1 1/2 lb (700g) courgettes

1 oz (25g) vegan margarine or butter

2 cloves garlic

3 oz (75g) shelled walnuts

Salt and Black Pepper



-Method-



Cut the courgettes into 1/4 inch (6mm) slices.  Crush the garlic.



Melt the butter in a frying pan, add the crushed garlic and fry gently

for 1-2 minutes until soft and lightly coloured.



Add the sliced courgettes, stir well to coat thoroughly in the butter,

then fry over low heat for 10 minutes, turning occasionally.



Chop the walnuts roughly.  Add these with a pinch of salt and a 

generous sprinkling of black pepper.  Cook for a further 5 minutes

until the courgettes are tender, stirring occasionally.

Transfer to a warmed serving dish and serve at once. Serves 4.



-Note-



Vegan equivalents instead of butter work fine for this dish.  For more 

flavour, add 2 (3) tablespoons chopped fresh parsley and 1 tablespoon

snipped chives to the courgettes 5 minutes before the end of the

cooking time.  Measurements in brackets are American.



_____________________________________________________________________

From: fruitbat@tardis.computer-science.edinburgh.ac.uk



One from the bowels, this.  Of the Fruitbat Recipe Book, that is, I have

a standard disclaimer about the health-giving properties of anything I 

cook. This marked my first departure from standard student fare of

spaghetti bolognaise and welsh rarebit.





                      - Sunflower Seed Peppers -



-Ingredients-



2 green peppers

1 red pepper

2 (3) tbsp vegetable oil

1 large onion

1 lb (500g) tomatoes

4 oz (100g) button mushrooms

2 oz (50g) sunflower seeds

1/2 tsp dried thyme

1/4 tsp paprika

1 1/2 oz (40g) edam or gouda cheese

Salt and black pepper



-Method-



Toast the sunflower seeds under a hot grill until golden. Do not

overbrown. Skin and chop the tomatoes. Deseed and chop the red pepper

into 1/2 inch (1cm) squares and quarter the mushrooms. Halve the green

peppers lengthways, removing the seeds.



Heat the oil in a medium saucepan, add the onion and fry gently for 5

minutes until soft and lightly coloured.



Add the tomatoes, mushrooms, toasted sunflower seeds, thyme, paprika

and salt and pepper to taste, then cook over moderate heat for 10

minutes, stirring constantly until the mixture is thick.



Meanwhile, bring a saucepan of salted water to the boil.  Put in the

green pepper halves, bring back to the boil and simmer for 6 minutes

until just tender. Drain thoroughly.



Heat the grill to high. Put the green pepper halves on the grill rack

and season inside with salt and pepper.  Pile the sunflower seed

mixture into the pepper halves, pressing it down with a spoon.

Sprinkle the grated cheese lightly on top.



Grill for a few minutes until the cheese is melted, but not brown.

Serves 2.



-Note-



Measurements in brackets are metric/american.  Omit the cheese and the

grilling stage for a vegan version.